Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Takes more,


This week (and indeed the last few weeks) has been a tough one for our family.
Pip's beautiful cousin died of a hideous cancer just 8 weeks after her diagnosis. She was just 22, and was the proud mother of 2 boys under 2....what can you say?
At time of diagnosis, she was given an expected life expectancy of 3 weeks, but she so desperately wanted to see her baby turn one which was to be in five weeks. It was tough.  She was so devastatingly sick, in horrendous pain and the drugs only seemed to be making her worse.
But she did it! She got to see her baby turn 1 and literally that night started the fast spiral down hill.

Eight weeks later and we receive the phone call - she's gone.
So quick, so hideous and so, so sad.

Worst part is the boys. Who's left to look after them? You would think the father, but he apparently just doesn't think he can do it, so declined the position.......WTF?

I tell you, this got my hackles up. You manage to get them here in the first place, but now you think it's not what you wanted.....too bad cockhead. Yes you heard right....COCKHEAD!
It's really confirmed for me that whilst anyone can be a father, it takes a real man to be a Dad.

My 'father' left my mum when I was about 3 and my brother was around 5 and we almost never saw him again. (I say almost, because he did turn up ONCE, and took us to Centrepoint when I was 7, but that was it!)
Mum remarried a man who had a son just a little younger than I was, 4 days before I turned 6 and it is this man who has been my Dad ever since. He has carried me, fed me, cared for me, loved me, guided me and taught me over the many many years, and yet I am not his. He was able to love me (and my brother) as his own since the day we met him. How is this so? How does one man become the best dad ever to children that aren't from his blood, and others be so unemotionally attached to their own?

Anyway, to cut a long story short, the cockhead, after not seeing his partner (nor his children) in the last 3 weeks of her life, has decided that maybe he could do it? Maybe if he gets some money from the state government to help him, he could do it! And you know what the worst thing is, according to social services, he would be the better choice than us, who are financially secure, willing to adopt and raise as our own, been screened and nitpicked to endth degree too complete satisfaction, and yet he is their father so he is first choice......??
Now I know this well could be the turning point in his life, his changing moment so to speak................well all I can say 'cockhead', is that you better step up and be a dad to these precious boys and not just a father.

Am I overreacting?? What are your thoughts?


  1. Oh that's so very sad.

    You're not overreacting. You obviously really love and care for those kidlets.

    I hope their father can turn himself into a Dad but if he can't it is good to know the boys have an extended family who love them and are watching closely.

  2. Devastated for you on so many levels. I hope those little blokes get the love they need to grow and blossom. Such a terrible situation. Right here if you need to rant and rave :-) x

  3. Oh wow that is so sad! And I worry about my problems. 22?! I life cut short far too early. So sorry...I hope it works out.

  4. What a tough time! Heartbreaking.

    Will the 'cockhead' allow you to be part of the boys life? I truly hope he steps up and becomes a Dad. x t.

  5. Nope, not over reacting at all! I agree! Men are definitely either dads. or sadly not... what kind of life will those poor grieving children have with a father who doesn't really want them... maybe he'll grow up, then be a good dad, but for now caring, stable, loving folks would be a better option surely... huge hugs gorgeous lady.. and hugs for your loss also xxx


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